tidak ada

dan ini adalah sebuah cerita yang mungkin tidak akan pernah aku ceritakan. kepada hal yang mungkin saja mengharapkan aku. disini aku baik baik saja.
yah.
aku baik baik saja.

keinginanku mungkin saja sudah tercapai, tapi apa hanya sebatas itu tuhan?
mungkin memang karena aku masih di proses, hingga pertanyaan yang aku punya tidak akan pernah habis.

kapan aku akan berakhir?

BUAT APASIII

kek kenapasiiiii apaya ngomongin apa.
gatau asli:(

wkwk kenapa masi dibaca siiii

kek ga penting sekali yang saya tulis disini tu, tapi pernah gak sih mikir hal hal yang harusnya ga difikirin, ya pasti pernah lah ya. kecuali kalau kita emg sekeren itu. cuma mikir yang penting doang:)

pernah gak si, nanya buat apasi kita ada di dunia ini.
kek buat apasiiiiii

bad news

society is so mess up nowdays.

anyone who needs a hero for and ask for, but no really hero come in between.

some of us just pretending to be a hero, but is hero really exist?

nope.

even for ourself we might never been exist.

before that

this tempt is too cold for me to holding on
maybe the answer of it might kills me
but how am i supposed to say anyway
this is too messy and haunted for a living life

hello, what's going on?
will we fly high and see
this might be just a lie please say
and i'll open my eyes in five

four times i thought i was moron
would just make me understand after three
at 2 am there might be a way
but first before that i'd like you to come and safe

the air beautifully sound
is everything i wish to be
but after i give the other hey
there's nothing could have been left

so sharp so left it like a wound
you tell me to hang on there dear
i take the call once more for saying bye
i can't say, but before that please stop the waves

KENAPASIIII

Halo semuanya,
pernah gak berfikir kalau kita ini hanyalah sebagian objek di dunia yang memiliki perannya masing-masing.

nah, peranku itu apasi.

Apakah aku sudah ditempat yang benar?

Apakah aku berada di tempat yang salah?

Sekejap dalam harapan aku berharap lebih 

Berharap kepada yang mungkin tak tahu bahwa aku dapat bernafas

Sebuah cahaya yang mungkin tak sadar olehnya di berikan kepadaku

Apakah aku angkuh?

Apakah aku angkuh berharap kepada dia yang tak tahu

Apakah sebaiknya aku pergi?

untuk tuhan

halo semuanya.
apa kabar di hari yang biasa biasa saja ini.
apakah ada sebuah tempat kosong untukku disana?
apakah hidup kita di dunia hanya sebuah fenomena?

halo semuanya,
dan aku masih saja merenungkan sebuah kisah yang tak jelas.
terpana oleh semesta yang mungkin hanya mengelabuiku.
apa benar aku bernafaskan oksigen yang cukup untuk otakku?

monster, please go

so, i really need some melody for maybe this might be the lyrics i wrote just a sec ago. it’s almost 2 am and still i just really don’t know what to do with the words in my head, maybe tomorrow i will find the sounds of the words below. or will you help?

bingung ah

halo gaiz.
perkenalkan aku TASIA.

apa ya. enaknya bicarain apa ya. apa ya yg enak dibicarain.
bingung ah:)

why do i hate ghost?

first of all, i’d like to ask anyone who might read this, don’t you scared of ghosts?

yea, ha who doesn’t????????

it has ver scary look, very scary voice, very scary step, o m g. why would i have to write this in the middle of the night?:)

everything about it is scary, and yea scary.

that’s it. we do not need so much reason for asking why would be scared of Ghost?

and second of all,

i have some experiences. and that was way too scary to be true, at least for me.

if i just could

so when you just tearing up apart the life of yours and maybe you need someone to rely on, and maybe this is the year of it. we never be so sure about things. but are you?

do you read this? do you hear those?
i want to be relieved, to be found
and maybe if i just could if i just could

there, are you there waiting?
what do you want to say?
what will you do for it?
will you just be gone?
why would i keep staying?

so, maybe things are a little need some credits
maybe you are just not ready
maybe i have to being sober
show me the way, show me the way

do you read this? do you hear those?
i want to be relieved, to be found
and maybe if i just could if i just could

i know, i just can't say no more
i can't stay too long
i know, things will be different in a minute
but i can't keep the promises

darling, so this going to be alright, is it?
take my soul or help me
darling, will this going to be alright?
again, take me or lead me

do you read this? do you hear those?
i want to be relieved, to be found
and maybe if i just could if i just could
only if i just could...

maybe.

maybe life isnt boring at all. it is so much fun but i am just not there. this is the time to get rest. and you know, having rest all day all week all month. so i have to be ready. and thankful. for the time for resting and have some space to have this.

life isnt boring at all. 

those rolling coaster is actually waiting in about 2 months. so, have fun tasia. 

have fun.

have fun.

and when you’re ready, you will be ready.

i have nothing.

hi, i guess you know my name already.

but let me tell you again, i’m tasia. 

and please call me by my name.

depression.

it is so matter since this is the big issue. i’ve heard the voices of those and can’t see it through. this step for leaving life is such a dumb way to do. no, not really. it’s not dumb. it’s the fact that some of us can’t take the zone to recreate the way out of it. is it tho?

i don’t know.

but, this is the word i believe anyone had been there. and for anyone who has passed it, 

thank you.

and for anyone who wants to keep surviving, 

thank you.

and for anyone who want to end it, i’m sorry. 

life never been unfair, but is it?

kind of people

• there are 2 kinds of people one who prefer to tell lies for good and other for always tell truth even it’ll be hurt
  
• there are 2 kinds of people one who always thinking about others and not really thinking what they want and other know exactly what they want and somehow it seems selfish
• there are 2 kinds of people one who show every emotions that they have and other who always hiding it and really guys we can’t guess what they really feel
• there are 2 kinds of people one who stay home all day and other just go everywhere when minds just so fucking sick
• there are 2 kinds of people one who is just too nice to be true and other is just the one who upset people
• there 2 kinds of prople one who belongs to heaven and the other we know where they belong to
• there are 2 kinds of people one who’d like to have quantities of friends the other only want for the best qualities friends
• there are 2 kinds of people one who believe and other who don’t
• there are 2 kind of people one who give up and other who give up too but know how to get up

judge me

sometimes i just want to run away and you know, leave everybody here and just leave everyone with their issues. i do. i really do have an issue too.

i mean, how to be keep just stay here tasia?
why don't you just leave and go. this whole thing just for a while. why being so care?
pretending that you are the most fine person in this universe?

oh please, i really want to go.
and leave you all behind.

3 am

HELLO FELLAS!

it’s 3 am in the morning.

yep just like the title.

so, i just would like to say to anyone whoever read this content i would really like if you will have a very nice day today!

today means whenever “today” you read this.

and for the one who might being a little drama and irritable or maybe having trouble which unsolved about thinking and feeling.

i wish, you will overcome those today!

because you know what!?

bcs, you deserve to have a good day for good life.

:)

and good night, while it is good morning.

love you.

the other me

hey, it's me again.

exit.

i want to exit.

do i laugh lots?

DO I LAUGH TOO LOT?

some people and some quotes says, the more someone’s laughing and smile the more they hide things.

think about it.

i do laugh a lot. for just a little things.

is it because i need comedy in life or my life is comedy already?

LOST

Have you ever feel lost?
for some reason, you will feel gonna lose something you have today.
but one day, you have this kind of feeling that you will lose something for no reason.

i hate judger

i hate judgers.

can’t just anyone look for thing from a lot of views? from many perspectives?

why judge.

can’t just see thing from any kind of see, senses and reasonal everything.

why being selfish.

i want to be selfish too.

god.

i want to be selfish.

i hate people.

so unreasonably, so judgers, so selfish.

kill me now.

is it?

So, i have done doing one step closer to my dream.
now i ask myself, is it really my dream?

knock. knock.

i feel empty.

i love me.

everything’s gonna be alright

everything’s gonna be just fine

it’s gonna be a good, good life.

i’m a mess i’m a loser

i’m a hater i’m a user

i’m a mess for your love

i’m obsessed i’m embarassed

i don’t trust no one around us

i’m a mess for your love

it aint new

everything’s gonna be alright

everything’s gonna be okay

it’s gonna be a good, good life

that’s what i’m gonna say

everything’s gonna be alright

everything’s gonna be just fine 

it’s gonna be a good, good life

‘cause yes i love me..

everything’s gonna be alright

everything’s gonna be just fine 

it’s gonna be a good, good life

Back To You

So, in this very early 2019 i found out something so weird.

oh yeah, really. it's out of my very wildest imagination. life is so hack the future of mine.

well, it is. but i'm so stuck. so let's say, 2018 is so good. and too good to say good bye, that's when i realize 2018 might be the best year so i know i'd go back to you again, and again. so thanks. 

for the struggling and lessons. for the thankful. for the making me a better person. for the show me beyond the most hideous secret of humanity, yeah not that big. but, everything.

As i said, 2018 might be the best year it lead me to the other phase of life-realizing-one-step-closer to reality. anyhow, still believng there're still lots of fun things outside. but yeah, the struggle was real. and it's gonna be more real this year. believe me or not, 2019 might be the legen..wait for it..dary! LEGENDARY year. yeah, let's just say that now. whatever will happen, let it happen.

Ever since the day of you know when, it was stuck and since it's changing year not celebrating it like how people did. but really, maybe this time is right. i'm about to leave those and begin again. 

so, let's just say what people usually do when it's New Year's part coming to live.
people start to make the resolution, which makes me also one of that people. yep, cliche.
one resolution for me is just only one and always, All I Want for Life is just to be ENJOYING this. but experience keeps making it full color. so, in the last year i found something more than i was expected. i made more than i was just wanted to be. i get cracked by the chance of getting high. i always want to do different thing, but i'm too comfortable to move. and for all of that stuff, really everything made me now is because of god. God leads me. for the fact, the fake and the fuck. and i feel glad for those. and for that i'd like to say...