overwhelming.

they say, when your mind is just so crowded and everything isn't going as you expected, go write something. i've always done it since years ago. i came here and wrote everything. 

i thought nobody will get it what i mean while i'm doing this.

i write alone and it was good, but felt something is missing. so i tried to talked to a stranger, it felt better, but still something is missing. years passed by, and i found some friends. or a friend, that i can tell everything. at first, it was all just great. i didn't write here for so long time, i didn't try to find a stranger to talk, i was undercontrol and totally fine. 

but, people are people, they don't really get it. 

it hurted so bad. i was alone again.

so i tried to find a stranger again, but it didn't feel the same. and here i am. talking here, again.

hello, how have you been?
i've been doing seems so well and great. well i wish so.

i have this situation where i don't really being friends with anyone, but anyone can be my friends. i'm so exhausted being faking everything, like no one will see me inside. i did it, very well.

and now i'm so breathless. i lost my oxygen, i guess i'm about to apnea. :")

anyway, i always almost there. almost end everything and leave this all behind and thinking about you know what i mean. almost there. everytime.

i wish time can be my good friend. because i'm all alone again. 

remember when i'm being so dramatic teenager or so imaginative teenager? well i'm stuck.
and getting worse. guess nobody really want to be with me. not even myself.

anyone who might read this, if i'm still alive, well let's say that i am strong enough.
but, if i'm not there anymore...guess i'm not really that well.

i really have no idea what can save me. 

well, i have to still hanging on right? i'm only 24 and, no i'm already 24 so...

can i just skip everything? the sad, mad, happy and crazy moment. i'm fucking exhausted. 

i really want to just not being here. nothing could please my soul, anymore.

so cold here, i'm freeze.
i don't hate not even love or being loved. 

don't, just don't.