hello again,
so what do you know about being happy?
i don't.
everything is good, but i still don't get what's the real meaning of it.
it was like having a bad dream, but you just can't remember what happened last night. the routine, the activities, the schedules, the wishes, the life and also the end for us. maybe i'm in the wrong path.
what makes you happy? for real.
for me, well it does really make me think for some minutes, but still i've got nothing.
i love watch movies, because those movies have the plot. the beginning and the ending. at least, we know what will happen in 1-2 hour. or more. while i am stuck. with the same time, same moment, same person, same situation, same day, and same routines. i don't say that i hate this. but, i still wanna be your favourite girl. can i be your number 1? and cry for me?
i don't even cry, anymore.
hello again, mate!
i know no one is really reading this blog but, me. so, i will just write anything.
i am so glad for everything that i have today like it's all been settled up so tidy. i love everything and everyone that i hear, see, and do. i love my God, Especially.
even tho, sometimes i hate everything. it is weird for having such feelings so random. but think about it again. i have everything that i needed and wanted, and enough. not more or not less.
this is too comfortable for me. as a 25 years old young adult, this is too safe for me. in other side of my heart and brain, i want something different just to change and challange me. it sounds really interesting. but this? what i have now, just so can not to be left. i am too scared for the new challange and stuff. so, i chose to just stay. is it something wrong? i mean, what are we looking for in this life, anyway?
i really wanted to be a doctor since i was 5 years old. and now i have finished the medschool, and that's it. nothing to prove anymore. i have no idea, what i want to do anymore. it's all done. so easy to be satisfied. but, why would we want more if this is just enough. the glorious life, the incredible life are just so.... i mean, this all thing will be end, at the end. and we're all will be dead. eventually.
so, whatever will happen, it will just be fine.
for all the emotions i had before this, the depression, the happy thoughtful, the ambition, the not talking session, and the hope that was so impossible, thank you.
everything been so difficult for me but honestly, when i recall it again..it was so pretty easy to get untill this point. time flies so fast.
and so now, i am so ready for everything that will happen to me in the future. i guess.
if God can really hear my thoughts and read this blog. well, i know God always hear my prays.
so, for now... i hope i will accept everything that God already plan for me in the future. i will accept it happily, and wholeheartedly.
i have nothing to lose..for me.
but well, actually i have a lot of things to keep.
whatever it takes. and whereever, even whoever.
i know this won't be so easy, but i hope no more cry hard and regretness.
i know everything happen for a reason, and every individual in this world was meant to be for the other individual to complete each other.
like i don't know how the pictures and musics remind us with some memories.
past is past let it all go. future is future let it prepare. nowday is nowday let it happen.
so mate, no more daydreaming. it's so not adult.
be grateful and thankful.
and i do... i do love everything in my life, for now.
maybe i used to think like why did i ask to God to send me to earth in the first place? life is soooooo fking depressing for me. all the desires that not happen like exactly what we want and all the preassures and stuff. i just want to end those.
but now, maybe this is really what i begged to God in the beforelife. so, God just gave what i asked, and always. i won't blame anything at all. life is amusing. right?
..and most importantly humans with heart and brain are more amusing.
love,
Tasia
hello again,
i am 25 years old now.
it's all good, in this year. not so disappointed, anyway what am i supposed to expect?
i hate to say this, but i just can't stop thinking what i am thinking.
maybe it happened since the first day, i just denied it everytime. and now, i just can't stop deny it anymore.
don't worry, it will be over.
i am 25 now.
in about 2 months, everything will be different.
i promise.
good luck, tasia.
just let it go.
things won't go if they never want to leave.
love,
tasia, MD
hello people,
how have you been now? anyway i have finished my study, finally. it was very amusing, exhausting and also amazing. since being a doctor had been my dream this whole time, i have done it now.
how am i feeling?
great, but afraid. all i know is i still need to study a lot but i have to be ready for the reality.
i hope, every patients that i'm about to help, i can handle it with the best way i can and nothing really bad will happen. i hope, i can be a very good doctor. i hope i didn't just waste my whole time.
time flies so fast, we are growing up, getting older and face the world.
honestly, i'm not ready yet for everything. for be a doctor, be a grown up. isn't those too much for me?
what's next, anyway?
having a new life, new people and new everything in anything. i'd love to.
but the life i have today is too comfortable, makes me want just to stay, even longer.
i feel like i don't want to meet the new people, only what i have now is enough.
but, is enough will be best for me?
this too comfortable thing isn't really working. so, one more month.
i have to be ready, no.
i am ready.
to learn, meet, experience new thing with new person.
one more month, untill 25....
bismillah.
hello again,
so it's almost finished, but not yet. for almost 25 years i live, things are just getting crazier. we don't know what will happen even 1 hour after this, life is so unexpected. i wonder if i can live in my imagination.
i wish to have more life than the day before, i wish to be more lively and be thankful. i won't ask for thing that is so not possible, i just want to live in peace. or really?
even if i die tomorrow, i'll just be in my room.
i used to be the one kid that having own life in my own imagination, for almost 25 years i've done nothing so amazing. i'm not gorgeous or genius, not famous very talkactive or ambitious. i'm not from wealthy family or having excellent talent. i'm just an ordinary girl. and it's okay. it's okay to be me. i even haven't be in love i guess. or have i?
the melody i hear everyday, the empty thing i hide from anyone else. the big secret real me i didn't show, and maybe this is all pretending live. i honestly hate people. i act like i love people.
people, friends, acquaintances, strangers and enemies are so tiring. but when i am alone all day, it's even more tired.
life is so complicated, and so love. so drama and no end thing. everything involve with feeling are so overrated.
i always try to fix other people, but really mate?! i'm fucking broken here.
no one is fully fine, especially in our ages.
if life is so that beautiful, why do we always having a deep sigh?
really, i don't know how to enjoy it even more. i need something new. please.
sincerely,
tasia
hello again,
i don't know what to say for real. i'm just tired with everything. i know exactly where to go, but all i know it's not a human being. as we all know we have one person or some people to be there. honestly, time flies and i still can't sleep well.
i'm sick with you, and now i am really sick.
i hope to meet the other you to stay again, because i really can't stay anymore.
you should know that, i'm no longer waiting or coming.
i won't listen, i won't be the old me.
a real goodbye?
are you ready?
i'm ready now.
let's open the next door, the next chapter, and close completely this fucking crazy sweet love hate toxic and shitty thing. i hate this so much even tho i loved it too much.
i'm opening the new section for the new trilogy, oh really. seriously, deep down and finally you'll see. no, i will see that i'm more than what i hope or what i thought.
i have tasia in me, so if you won't leave, i will leave. i will leave.
welcome this is going to be amazing, i know that.
i love you, but i love me more.
soooooooo i wrote another song,
the lyrics tell about what i am facing for years, and i am stuck.
anyway, this is just for fun guys lol
if it's not good enough, it's fine. but if it's good enough, i know right?
so, listen to my soundcloud here --> OVERRATED
