happy?

hello again,

i know nobody really read my blog so i'm not sure for saying hello to anyone here. but if you read this, the only question is.. are you happy? like real happy.

guess i'm not. i'm just being calm, all the way that possible to be.

i tried to create the moment and force people to be around me and pick the wrong way. i can't relate to anybody. i want to be around people when i'm alone, but when i'm around, i think it's better just to stay alone. something is wrong, that's all i know.

at this moment, i don't remember when the last time i have the purest smile and laugh and being happy for real. always make it like it is real, but is it? 

thinking for my daydreaming as it will ever become true. it wasn't me. it's all just pretending so you'll see that i deserve this.

so are you happy? what it's like?

may i even touch it?