Insatiate

Dear Anyone Who Might Read This,

Hi! I am Tasia. And this is the whole feeling i've been felt and safe. I was wondering if any expectations could be happen or maybe anything. I think, i looked everything only in one side before, and ignoring. But, some experiences just keep giving me more than what i have asked for.

Right, I am 21 already. So, my life is getting more real than yesterday. Eventually, i breath inside my lungs desperately wanted to exhales more. I need more, i think. But, here i am... having more than anyone else. When i think i need more, i just can not describe what kind of "more" do i need to have. So, i was freezing. 

Maybe, one day i will back and keep ignoring people, back to my nature life. I've been faking my whole destination for 2 months. Couple days ago, it was over. But, i just feel something is missing. And making my mind keep thinking, What Have I Been Doing This Whole Time?

I'm late. 

People keep saying there's no word for "late" in this whole world. But, that's what i'm feeling. I know, it's not my feeling what is we needed for right now. It's not all about me. But, i always want everyone comes and see it's always me. Always everything comes about me, and my self.

I was selfish. Still today, but literally i understand. We should observe from hundreds sides, but still we can't judge. Or maybe, don't ignoring. All you have to do is give your sweetest face with smile on it, and pretend you are okay. Because, you are actually Okay. Even better than anyone else.

So, why would we have to ask more and more? Everything will comes at the end. I've been learning for this 21 years. And i will keep learning for some reasons i had to. Maybe, i'm not so ready today. Maybe, tomorrow i'm still not ready. But, i believe for the time will follow my expectation.

And finally, one day.. I could be totally understood Why Would I Have To Stand On This Beautiful Earth.

 It's Me,

Always..

COOL

my lyfe is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool.

✌

born again.

so, it's my birthday. just another one fine day, getting older every time's clocking, and guess what... there is nothing to be exciting about. i'm just all doing fine. having this normal life is completely a gift. the gift which god gave me, and let me for having it. i feel too fine, not really being insecure and actually deeply feeling peace inside. i hear those time's clocking which never stop. this will keep happening nonstop.

it feels weird, when i think about it imagine the worse and the best thing that would happen to me. but i feel glad. and thankful...for this pretty normal living. no war, no teror, just having good people around which start to make me cry for no reason...

since i was born again, today, at the same date and time so... what ever happen next i'll let god's plan make it happen with the best way. still, i wish my dreams and all my silly dreams will have a little tiny just a little bit chance to happen, please god :") which i'll let god know in my prays.

so, what's the moral value?

no matter how many people you have met, the only people that won't leave you just your born family and some other family you met. mostly, the one who let you feel love-hate relationship in between.

i feel like want to write a poem now....

i feel happy randomize sad and a little bit confuse but too calm and quite.

birthday might seems one of the happiest moment in life, but when you change the words become getting older...pussshduaarrrzzz it all turn sad, and you just need to face another reality-drama-conflict-lively-hood. 

anyway, it still be happy, because it's a born day which actually your ticket to walk and breath in this damn universe.

i always feel like born again at this date, but guess what... nothing much change.

literally, nothing is change.

at least, i have the reason to be happy once more and again. 

it's good being old, it's another bravest moment when you would finally facing through windows and let the wind come until you're just ready to open the door and walk on the grass...and now....

i must be more ready.

coz i'm literally 21, young and live.

still, 

i still live in a daydream. wake me up, i'm old!!

*starting being panic more, and even more*

Love,

Tasia

Later

maybe later,
yes.. later then i will be satisfied and no more sigh.

cheerio!

once a day, i feel time is growing too fast. again and again, when days are too old or too low.
you know, one day sky will be higher than today, and earth gonna be down below.
look up to the sea you never imagine before. it will be up and down 'till you realize the show.
yes, just a show...

i have the wind that will sweep my wings to fly, but i know only one thing for real.
this show, isn't right for through my walls. i don't even have walls that made of steel.
in fact, i keep trying to deny it like hell, therefore i will steal.
i will steal things that never been mine, things that not into my bill.

but, joke is a joke.
please, just give me a mock.
and let me locked.
because everything, will never be enough even if i have thousand rock.

to set you in pain,
or get into my line.

anyway,
i'm just wasting times...
with all of this rhymes.

cheerio,

me

Betrayal

i like play with the words.. which makes me do not think hard when I'm writing. i can write anything i want and make it like sarcasm but it is not. that's just a complete whole words which i make it once and you read it as a sentence.

you might have no idea what i have been for living, well that was not really bad. it was quite simple but amazingly make this creature just like this. i like everything happened to me, but i never wish those happen.

have you ever imagine that one day you have all these kind of friends and you be like "oh they are my real soul mates" but one day one of them, betrayed you.

yeah, that's happening everyday to everyone. 

betrayal is a common thing, but can we just forgive that betrayal thing? 

let's think about it.

have you ever betray someone? or been betrayed?

ISSUES of Mine

Dear Life,

There's one thing i would like to tell you about how is everything become everything. Time has passed like no one notice it is passing, my journey is kindly hard and effortless. i know that the social life could destroy or even develop the passion of ours. but do you know  how your passion become good passion?

Dear Life,

Thank You for being there. I wouldn't stay without you. It's been this long time that you had given me more than just i thought it could be. About people, time, world, and god. Life, you change the other thing of thought to be the other thought. i don't even know what is it means, but i know what i feel.

And i feel glad that i have life and learn by the way you taught me.

Dear Life,

I know people are not the same. but all i need to know is why they have things called perception and made it as their imaginary and make it seems so real. why people assume things by their own. they just have to know, that they are not living alone in this world. it seems so simple, but an assumption could destroy and come to the war. this assumption is really bad. either bad or good assumption. i want more facts. and feel the fact, so there is no your own assumption.

Dear Life,

Please tell those people including me to always remembering that you are here not living alone. please give other deserve what they deserve to have. please don't speak in loud. please don't control other people life. please feel it and think more before you give impact to the other one. please don't include your own bad emotion to other and give bad impact to the other. please be cool. please be more rationally with your feeling combined. please, you can be yourself but you have to consider what would the impact give around.

Dear Life,

Another life already done. and the other life just begin today. so how long time that my age could survive here? when will i die? and if i die, what would happen? coz i feel empty and randomise happy.

Dear Life,

Now i know, how to react and not so sure to be who. and whoever i am, i am here. living, and breath.

and here are my Issues, and LOTS.