hello again, mate!
i know no one is really reading this blog but, me. so, i will just write anything.
i am so glad for everything that i have today like it's all been settled up so tidy. i love everything and everyone that i hear, see, and do. i love my God, Especially.
even tho, sometimes i hate everything. it is weird for having such feelings so random. but think about it again. i have everything that i needed and wanted, and enough. not more or not less.
this is too comfortable for me. as a 25 years old young adult, this is too safe for me. in other side of my heart and brain, i want something different just to change and challange me. it sounds really interesting. but this? what i have now, just so can not to be left. i am too scared for the new challange and stuff. so, i chose to just stay. is it something wrong? i mean, what are we looking for in this life, anyway?
i really wanted to be a doctor since i was 5 years old. and now i have finished the medschool, and that's it. nothing to prove anymore. i have no idea, what i want to do anymore. it's all done. so easy to be satisfied. but, why would we want more if this is just enough. the glorious life, the incredible life are just so.... i mean, this all thing will be end, at the end. and we're all will be dead. eventually.
so, whatever will happen, it will just be fine.
for all the emotions i had before this, the depression, the happy thoughtful, the ambition, the not talking session, and the hope that was so impossible, thank you.
everything been so difficult for me but honestly, when i recall it again..it was so pretty easy to get untill this point. time flies so fast.
and so now, i am so ready for everything that will happen to me in the future. i guess.
if God can really hear my thoughts and read this blog. well, i know God always hear my prays.
so, for now... i hope i will accept everything that God already plan for me in the future. i will accept it happily, and wholeheartedly.
i have nothing to lose..for me.
but well, actually i have a lot of things to keep.
whatever it takes. and whereever, even whoever.
i know this won't be so easy, but i hope no more cry hard and regretness.
i know everything happen for a reason, and every individual in this world was meant to be for the other individual to complete each other.
like i don't know how the pictures and musics remind us with some memories.
past is past let it all go. future is future let it prepare. nowday is nowday let it happen.
so mate, no more daydreaming. it's so not adult.
be grateful and thankful.
and i do... i do love everything in my life, for now.
maybe i used to think like why did i ask to God to send me to earth in the first place? life is soooooo fking depressing for me. all the desires that not happen like exactly what we want and all the preassures and stuff. i just want to end those.
but now, maybe this is really what i begged to God in the beforelife. so, God just gave what i asked, and always. i won't blame anything at all. life is amusing. right?
..and most importantly humans with heart and brain are more amusing.
love,
Tasia
