dear my climax smile

i lose my words
i lose my melody
i lose my voice
i lose my smile
i lose my way

here i am.

silencely, likely got nothing.
no cheer up
stop the act
stop the drama
everything just fiction
it is over

i am not broken
just keep silent and keep silent.
i am stopping my way, the way which i used to do.

now here,
i hate to be around
i hate to say my opinion
i hate to say my feeling
i hate something complex
i hate to walk around a lot people
i hate to try to always understanding people
i hate to hear people's opinion
i hate to follow what people want
i hate to be ruled
i hate to be in this drama

let me feel what is free
let me know what i am feeling
let me try to seek this all
let me see how really myself
let me get what i've got

do not stop me
do not let me down
do not hold me
do not stay with me
do not talk to me
do not try to understand me, coz you never will

let me breath, freely
let me believe again in that magical
let me hold what i have got
let me go with all of my wishes
let me show what i need to show
let me see the cold under the fire
let me choose what is gonna be my life's choice

burry me
kick me
send me
whatever, but do not give me any preassure anymore

i love to be alone
i love to make some imagination
i love to lock myself alone
i love to stay not around people
i love to keep silent
i love to not make some interact
i love to just living for my own self only
i love to not thinking about them anymore
i love to surivive alone
i love to forget all the moment
i love to hate people's mind

i am not that psycho
i am not that psychology
i am not that psyciatry
i am not crazy even insane
i am not what is on your opinion

i am obviously different
and no one from this world know how is it, why is it, what is it
because i've got a million characteristic

i could be your luck
i could be your damnshitthing
i also could cheer you up
i could grow your angriness
i could be whoever

but here i am
the real one

i have so many things to hate
i've got nothing to love

i can't talk
i can't hear you
i can't think even taste

i can't laugh
i can't smile
i even can not sing anymore

i even feel nothing
everything lost

goodbye my pretend self

sincerely,

my demon