19/11/2014

nowdays, people have changed being jerk.

dear my climax smile

i lose my words
i lose my melody
i lose my voice
i lose my smile
i lose my way

here i am.

silencely, likely got nothing.
no cheer up
stop the act
stop the drama
everything just fiction
it is over

i am not broken
just keep silent and keep silent.
i am stopping my way, the way which i used to do.

now here,
i hate to be around
i hate to say my opinion
i hate to say my feeling
i hate something complex
i hate to walk around a lot people
i hate to try to always understanding people
i hate to hear people's opinion
i hate to follow what people want
i hate to be ruled
i hate to be in this drama

let me feel what is free
let me know what i am feeling
let me try to seek this all
let me see how really myself
let me get what i've got

do not stop me
do not let me down
do not hold me
do not stay with me
do not talk to me
do not try to understand me, coz you never will

let me breath, freely
let me believe again in that magical
let me hold what i have got
let me go with all of my wishes
let me show what i need to show
let me see the cold under the fire
let me choose what is gonna be my life's choice

burry me
kick me
send me
whatever, but do not give me any preassure anymore

i love to be alone
i love to make some imagination
i love to lock myself alone
i love to stay not around people
i love to keep silent
i love to not make some interact
i love to just living for my own self only
i love to not thinking about them anymore
i love to surivive alone
i love to forget all the moment
i love to hate people's mind

i am not that psycho
i am not that psychology
i am not that psyciatry
i am not crazy even insane
i am not what is on your opinion

i am obviously different
and no one from this world know how is it, why is it, what is it
because i've got a million characteristic

i could be your luck
i could be your damnshitthing
i also could cheer you up
i could grow your angriness
i could be whoever

but here i am
the real one

i have so many things to hate
i've got nothing to love

i can't talk
i can't hear you
i can't think even taste

i can't laugh
i can't smile
i even can not sing anymore

i even feel nothing
everything lost

goodbye my pretend self

sincerely,

my demon

hey, LIFE

DEAR LIFE,
i am not gonna shake you out. or let you die uselessly.
i have a faith that i can lead you to the right side.
so come and watch me flying with these bullshit.
come and see me watching you bleeding.

hey, life how are you there?
i am so well here and really good to breath
like nobody around take my oxygen
like i own this road
i own this champ

hey, life why are you crying
what are you crying for
don't we really reach this gate
we open the door to the place where we can seek it out

hey, life let's see what is going on
from the past behind untill the death when we cannot breath

life, do you know a secret?
you are not immortal.
but you are too great to be lived forever.

thankyou,
for attention

18/08/2014

when all the things just so fake you do not know how to reach this. you've just been left behind. no one stay. when you need all of the raise, but you just come and go with the fall how is it feeling?
when people ask you how are you, you are just keep quiet and stay all along
not interested to be true. saying all you want to.

when people just walking around you.
when people were staring at you for no reason.
when you are just keep talking about nothing.
that is when you and the other one know that there is no magic.

miracle or even hope.

i even do not know what i am saying but there's a mean inside here.
that i am all alone.
i am all alone to face those to be true.

left me behind, then i'll know who is really true to keep staying.

22:06 01/05/2014

Dear MY SMILE,

OR Dear Life which I never asked for, well but i thanked god for this. yes. this.

everything's just fake. no, i'm not gonna be trapped. well, it's hard to tell about what is going on with the real one. but, fyi everything's just fake. nothing real in any side of life. the one and only real is "nothing".

even if you believe in heart, it's still lie. every lie has its lie.

well let me tell you about this fake or fact or just call it fvck.
fake fact fvck has no much different in every sounds. well.

the point is, fuck everything. nope.
fake everything.
if you can prove something real, come to me then prove it.
there is no the REAL.

maybe i'm not really living now. or maybe i never think or even feel. i don't know.
HOW DO I KNOW? right?

well, just come and see those stars, and one that moon. you know what?
maybe you can say you are in one population. so crowded. near everyone.
THAT'S ALL JUST FAKE.
in fact, you're all alone. yes.

you have no body
even parents, just people who take you here. to world. they're just people who take you on this earth and make you knowing everything's just fake. eventually, they will leave you. ALONE.

or, they will let you keep safed with them? let it be.
LET YOURSELF FEEL HOW TO BE ALONE.

because that is the real LIFE.

you're dead, if you CAN'T stand ALONE.

THE POINT IS, FAKE IS TRUE FUCK IN FACT OF LIFE

08/04/2014

Dear My Smile,

gaktau mau nulis apa gue. tapi pengen nulis aja sih, gak pake alasan. hihihi

jadi gini.

hmm

yagitulah pokoknya.

agak gak penting emang, tapi yasudahlah suka suka saya dong ya saya yang punya yakanya?

gapunya cerita.

atau nyanyi aja deh bareng saya. kalau tau liriknya dan gimana lagunya lo boleh kok teriak teriak sambil nyanyiin ni lagu. atau lo mingkem aja nyanyi dalem hati, tergantung kamu maunya gimana sih, aku ngikut aja. ya berhubung yang tau lagu ini cuma saya, mella dan icha ya jadinya yang bisa nyanyi lagu ni ya cuma mereka dan saya sih ya. kalau kamu terlanjur kepo, ya kamu ngadep aja ke cermin terus liat gimana muka kamu kepo nya tingkat apa, kalau tingkatnya melebihi kapasitas ntar saya pikirin deh solusinya buat elo (sebenarnya mau bilang, "lo ngadep cermin ajadeh terus nyanyiin lagu cindai" tapi agak merinding aja gitu). udah tugas saya buat nyariin solusi, siapa tau dibagi tip lumayan lah saya lagi bokek. tapi sebelum lo bercermin, lo mikir dulu. peluang pecah kaca lo berapa, gue gak mau ya beliin elo cermin baru cuma buat mecahin dia lagi kasian kan ya? wkwk 

ya cukup. okeh jadi gini.......................

saya harap kamu mengerti, ntar kalau lo ngerti selamat aja deh.

kalau gangerti, ya gpp kok. :)

I LOSE BREATHING AT THE MOMENT
MUSING HURTS INSIDE THE BRIGTH

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS THE REAL

LOSER IN MY OWN PLACE

COUNTING WIRES I'M BLEEDING

DISSAPEAR BECAUSE OF TIME

THE LIMIT'S ALREADY DONE

BRING THEM TO FOREVER

IT IS MY HEARTBEAT

EVERYTHING GIVING THE SOUL

IT'S ALL MY PULSE

TAKE IT WITH THE LAUGH

I NEED THE MELODY

TO COMPLETELY, PERFECTLY, HARMONY INSIDE MY SONG

THEN EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT

THE COOL LYRICS, SO WE CAN SING WE CAN DANCE

CAN GO WHEREEVER IT TAKES

WHEN YOU BURN ALL THE SINS

STRUGGLING OVER LIMIT

GOING THROUGH THE FULLNESS

MISTATE OUR LOST WORDS

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO FEEL INSIDE THE FIRE

REALLY DON'T NEED TO FIGHT 

I ONLY NEED TO FACE

IT IS MY HEARTBEAT

EVERYTHING GIVING THE SOUL

IT'S ALL MY PULSE

TAKE IT WITH THE LAUGH

I NEED THE MELODY

TO COMPLETELY, PERFECTLY, HARMONY INSIDE MY SONG

THEN EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT

THE COOL LYRICS, SO WE CAN SING WE CAN DANCE

CAN GO WHEREEVER IT TAKES

intinya,

LO JELEK KAYAK MONYET :)

wassalam,

tasiaarl

12 MARCH 2014, WEDNESDAY

sometimes you just feel like don't know what to do.
when somebody come and you have to do something.
you get the point, completely.
but you just can't.
it's kind of a hardship thing.
well,
all i want to do just want to make them happy.
no matter if i'm not or what?
i realize that i can control myself.
my emotion.
sometimes, some people just can't do that.
but i can convince myself when i'm down.
so....
please, just be happy...

that's all.

22:52-23:42 08/03/2014 Saturday

DEAR MY SMILE,

THIS IS JUST A RANDOM WORDS

okay?

coz i don't wanna fall in love

if i ever did that i think i'd have a heart-attack

once upon a time a few mistakes ago

i was in your sights you got me alone

you found me you found me you found me

but when it comes to you i'm never good enough

i guess you didn't care

and i guess i liked that

and when i fell hard

you took a step back

without me without me without me

but you make me wanna act like a girl

paint my nails and wear high heels

yes you make me  so nervous 

and i just can't hold your hand

you make me glow

i knew you were trouble when you walked in

but i cover up won't let it show

i flew me to places i never been

so i'm putting my defenses up

coz i don't wanna fall in love

if ever did that

now i'm lying on the cold hard ground

i think i'd have a heart-attack

trouble trouble trouble

maybe you thought life is something that make you feel in so many ways. like sad, happy, angry, upset, dissappointed, even frustasted. isn't it great?

well, just close your eyes the sun is going down, you'll be alrigth no one can hurt you now, come morning light you and i'll be safe and sound --> Safe And Sound

life is wonderful.
think it.
feel it.
got it.

i just have no idea what to do. when you're just in a condition like don't know what to do, i advice you to close your eyes and think the best memory that you ever had.

yesterday, i just watched a movie with title "The Impossible" this film was really moved me. based on best stroy, i really thank to god that i never had that experience. and i wish i will never had one.
i'm just scraed.
you should watch it, someday.

and........what else?

or we should just fly like a flamingo?
when you're in confussion, don't know what to do?
when you're dying of people?
when you just pushed up all of your buddies?
when you just want to shout as loud as you can to show people?
so why don't you just fly like a flamingo, flamingo... its wings flutter on the rainbow, or let it sleep like an owl? at the sun --> Like A Flamingo

sometimes, when you lose in confussion you can create anything what you want.
when your imagination just turn on.
when your silent just become words.
when your wishes just come true.
when you imagine it, any-impossible-things could happen.
even your head burns, your mind rolls, but just hear the voice......
that melody voice

i need the melody to completely, perfectly, harmony inside my song. then everything's alright the cool lyrics so we can sing, we can dance, can go whereever it takes --> whereever it takes

i will lead you there because....

i'm on my way to believing☀

...and you're amazing just the way you are ♥

midnight☀

EVERYTHING'S JUST GONNA BE NEW FOR ME START FROM THIS SECOND...

Everything...

so lets start this~ 

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

i'm just ready!

for whatever that things, i'm ready as titanium :)

then i can enjoy every little things in my life ♥