once upon a time..

Once upon a time there was this girl who caught by a thunder of life. that thunder never let her free. it stucks for years and keeps running around. no matter cold either hot. one day, she walked by around a road, alone. no companies, no things around, unless oxygen. and with all of that kind of air, she keeps breathing. she walked, and walked by with no straight purpose. together with thunder and oxygen. sometimes, she tried to reach more oxygen, so she tried to jump. but, she fell. another day, she tried to push away the thunder, however it burned her. so she had no go out of her mind unless living with those two.

she wondered why thunder just really like to stuck with her. she was hopeless. and so was the thunder. thunder was so hopeless to leave the girl, which make thunder has no choice than stuck to the girl. at first, the girl really couldn't handle it. even oxygen's hand is not helping. not a little bit. the girl was lost in the light of thunder. she was jailed by the curse. she tried to keep pushing away the thunder, mad at it, and curse it. which make the thunder bigger than ever. bigger, louder even wider. which reducing the oxygen and make the girl breathless. she was black out. she had no idea what's wrong with her life so thunder just love to be around her.

one day, the girl clear all of her directions of lifes. she thought thunder blocked her happy life. then she juat let the thunder do it. she was really hopeless which make thunder push her stronger than before. the girl just had enough of keep seeing the thunder around. so she closed her eyes, and take a deep breath with a help of oxygen. she breaths more, more, more.....

then she opened her eyes back, she tought she needs a new ways of thinking. she re-schedule all of her deadlines. she started to took care and figured out how to let the thunder be around but keep the oxygens around. so she started to keep life with those two with no doubt. because whatever she tried to pushed or pulled the thunder it always be worst.


all she had to do is just accepted the thunder to be her friend. so she tried to be humble with it. deep in her heart, she was really afraid to starting. but with a little brave, oxygen helped her a little bit. she tried to start a conversation with the thunder. and be friendly.

she tried to understanding the thunder why it loved to be around her. she started to smile with thunder, laugh with it and love it. the more she saw thunder, the more she saw the light inside. which she never realize it was exist.

with the combine of the oxygen, the more time they spent lives together the more oxygent and thunder look as one. it began to turns to something new. something different. with the combination of light and air, it became something big.

and now she realize, it never be just thunder or just oxygen. they always been one. this whole time the girl live with only one purpose of life which she called brain.

we need a logic mind from brain to keep moving..
so we know there will always be a hope for future.
better future that faith has made.

believe it, so you can follow it perfectly with logic brain.

one more time, a year has passed.

had a really great time this year.

thankyou 2016.

goodluck

Weakness

Weakness? let me see.. do you have any thing that you afraid of?
some of you might answers things sounds like a phobia to some weird things or animals, but now that is not what i am going to talk about.

i am talking about a weakness.
we all are human ofcourse have at least one positif and one negatif thing from us. no matter if you are a queen or a king, a president or a major, a giver or a taker, an unemployee or an employee, anyone who has soul. we all are the same. but what is your greatest weakness?

yes, what is your best personality and what is your weakness?
those questions is not so unfamiliar for us to be heard. this question is usually asked in an interview.
and why do they like to ask us what's our best and worse? for me, they want us to know if we know ourself really good or even we don't even recognize ourself.
so please...analyze what you hide inside.

most of us have no idea what is inside us, hiding in our soul. but here's i let you to think it more, to know yourself more, to make everything possible. so you will know what to do even you have no plan for it.

..and today i just figured out my greatestweakness here.
maybe we all have this, and hate to be in this situation, but me.. i just can't handle it, ALONE.

for me...i am afraid of MISTAKE.
i don't like to be failed, althought old people said "failure is the success of delayed"
SHUT UP PEOPLE!
really? i mean, why should we fail if we want to success, to feel the suffer?
well, anywords you could say but i am afraid of that.
i am afraid with a lot of thing.
i am afraid of starting the new thing.
i am afraid that i can't handle it.
i am afraid i'm not gonna make it.
i am even not really sure if i could be a doctor.
the point is, i have less confident. i am not a brave person.
like some heroes in your favorite movies, they're all brave which is minus in my personality
that's just make sense why i will never be able to be in gryffindor.

wkwk
okay, but this whole phobia that i have should not be my excuse to run away.
i have to face it, even i hate to face it.
now i just realize why i love to use words  "i have to face it"
i was too afraid if i can't face it. so i say it to myself over and over again, so i will convince..

that i can make it.


really...

and that's how i end this short random-paragraph
today's incidence just help me to figure out what i really need to consider, control and be friendly with it.
so that is my weakness,

What's yours?

good luck.

Always

cause we never know if we never been there
we'll never can survive if we never had any shoulder
we never stop if we never finish
we never be brave if we never have done it
we never win if there is no competition
we never be fresh if we never feel tired like dying
we never live if we have no hope
we never be happy if we don't have things around
we never need a friend if we are not a humanity
we never end if we never start
we will never be satisfied if there is always the one who have been better
we never aim the fault if there is no the lying truth

we never can sing if there is no melody
i will never be me if i have no life to surviving

we all are surviving living hoping for a better life
Always

we do not need a plan

well, be grown up is not always been a good idea.
i realize it even since when i was a kid. i wish i never been grown up, once i told myself.
and in another day, i asked me if maybe i have to wake up and see more things here, but i have to grow up first.

this's too complicated.
then i made some plans to do. because i know just a one real thing.
i will never could stop the times. even just a second.
so then i made some plans...
i thought it, imagined it, even i wrote evey single things.
it was very cleaned plan. so one day, i will be able to keep enjoy my grown up times.

but i didn't.

it can never been a full enjoyable year, or an exciting month, even it's quite hard to make a perfect week for me. i'd really love to enjoy those times passed, well i had to. coz it won't be returned.

and all those plans...
never come right through i've ever imagined before.
it always become far from what i expect, it always become either better or worse.
so, i can't blame anything then..
the better one happen outside of my imagination ever, then thought comes to my mind,  it must becoming a really fair faith for me.

untill i've got some thoughts coming..

why are we planning, then?

after all of the things that happened to me...
i've decided a very worst way to live ever, i guess.

"never have a plan, sometimes plan just ruin. through it, with no doubt. believe, and do your faith in the best way"

so, now and then..
 i think i will have no plan for what will i face there

Alert for Attending Medical School

OKE GAIS.

jadi abaikan saja postingan yang sebelumnya, close your eyes, pass it, leave it, forget.

mari kita mulai menulis lagi, yak menulis apa saya pun tak tau. namun biarkan sajalah saya berkembang. meski libur sebentar lagi akan selesai, saya 90% yakin nunggu libur semester lagi baru isi sesuatu di blog. padahal awalnya mau hapus blog semuanya, tapi liburan terlalu lama ini membuat saya agak jenuh namun bahagia. setiap hari selow kayak di pantai, gak ada ujian, tutorial, pratikum. hidup saya sudah berubah gais!

semenjak keinginan saya sejak kecil, kemudian berubah kemudian sma balik lagi mau jadi dokter jadinya terlulus benaran di fakultas kedokteran. senang sih, tapi....

kadang bingung juga kenapa mau kuliah disini, nah jadi kejadian. dan sekarang saya malah galau dilanda bingung....

tik tok

somehow you will feel ungrateful, a crying for a help. some acts for some other act.
someday you can not believe again.
you lose in too deep.
but you're just too worry. you need to find someone.
you're just fine.
you're just fine.
you need some of that words.

some word that can make you believe again.

to stay, survive and fight back.
even if you've tried but god always knows better.
let it give you, make you, tell you.

all we need is only time.

i am starting to believe you again.
i did. and you made me.

made me more,
please...


sincerely,
me

sincere

i was wondering why are we living for. what should we've done if we have chances to live. and what kind of goal that will be our end-up. i was thinking if we have the same things to do in life which make us fight who get it first. but actually we have different way to finish the goal. which ways depends on how we responding. how we act and see the world.

then the only reason why are we living is depends how you take the conclusion. how you give it a try. how you want to be like somebody. not only where destinies bring us to something. it's not like we try hard to arrive on that destiny. we just do what we should have done until the destiny through us. it is weird when you try get what is not written already. bcs, it is already written very well.

changing is not a possible thing. random words that make me think that any way that already happen to us is what we have chosen. so never sorry for how your life living. you have your own way. even what you expect never happen directly. something better is already chosen by you.

i am good enough i thought.
nothing else needed. nothing else expected.
just let it happen.
let it coming.
let it going.
with its own way.

i won't waiting anymore. the more i am waiting the longer it will come.
i am going to just let be sincerely.